Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Sweet-Bitter Thoughts

So holidays are over. And, well, my quite long work stint is over as well. So am back in school, which is surprisingly not bad. I do feel sort of lost though. Given that I took the last term off and the new freshman have invaded campus, I keep thinking "Wow, I seem to know so few people" and "Why are these new students everywhere and creating such a ruckus?” It’s irritating and distracting. I guess it’s a sign of being a senior.

It’s nice to have a student’s routine again though. Work meant getting up really early and slogging till really late - everyday. Now I have a four day weekend.....whee.....and though all my classes are the early morning ones I don’t really mind as they are terribly interesting. It’s kinda nice to be a student, there’s so much to learn and I always feel I know so little that there’s a perpetual motivation to read more, learn more, discuss, debate and I love that. It was something I missed while working. I also love the fact that I have some absolutely wonderful professors this term, even though I often feel incredibly dumb around them!

Also, after my month at home, where reading was negligible, I now have access to the library and gazillion books. That makes me happy. Am currently reading Calvino and Shakespeare.
So, everything’s rosy right now. But given the super heavy courses I am taking this term I guess it’s only a matter of time before the work load turns nightmarish. Anyway, till then everything’s good.

Leaving home was bitter sweet. The stay was good in the sense of sleeping till late and eating till I felt my stomach would burst, but non eventful otherwise.
It was also frustrating in terms of what was happening in the country. The Bombay blasts had just happened. Mulayam Singh Yadav gave SIMI a clean chit which was further affirmation (if we really needed any) of the fact that the politics in the country is reaching new levels of utter rot. Then the blog ban - such idiocy. Opening the newspapers and reading of Naxalite violence almost everyday. The security threats around Independence Day. I think it was the first time I actually had to think twice before going out to a crowded market place. It was startling that I was thinking that way and terribly upsetting.

Given the situation within the country (and I have to say here that though I do have tremendous respect for our PM, I feel the current government has fallen woefully short of any expectations I had from it) not mention the madness that’s going on in the world I think things are going to get much worse before they get better. That makes me sound pessimistic and cynical and I hate that, but it is what I feel. And I really hope that I am utterly wrong.


Tabula Rasa said...

some of us get used to the pessimism as we move along. helps in functioning.

i really liked the "sweet-bitter" inversion. gives a whole new flavor to things.

Tabula Rasa said...

ps. enjoy the semester :-)

Szerelem said...

someone once told me an optimist knows things can only get worse from the present situation but a pessimists underlying sentiment is that they can only get better - so perhaps pessimism isnt all bad.

do hope i enjoy the semester, but seem to be a bit detached from all the on campus activity...too many people can be terribly pissing off.

GhostOfTomJoad said...

I think so too...things are going to get worse but I'm not so sure about the getting better part. But I don't blame the present government at all. In fact, it's after a long time that we have a PM that I'm not ashamed of. I really believe that, if it weren't for the political compulsions of a coalition government, the government would've fared much better. Ii is my firm belief that if they are allowed a free hand, Manmohan Singh and Sonia Gandhi will take the country in the right direction.

On a lighter note, I see the lowered expectations flu is catching :-)

M (tread softly upon) said...

I always thought being a student was truly rewarding. Have fun!

Szerelem said...

GhostOfTomJoad: well i would think (or like to anyway)that things wouldve been better had the govt. had a free hand. Utterly abhor the commies. Everytime I see them on the telly feel a great desire to slap some sense into them. But then again loook at Arjun Singh and the reservation issue, it makes me very skeptical of the congress.

M: thank you! =D